Like many, I too use filters to eliminate people from consideration as both potential romantic partners and potential friends. Personally, my filters can range from superficial things like age and looks and social status to more in depth characteristics like personality, goals, and beliefs. I believe that those who have goals, good intentions, humor, and great communication skills are most attractive. In contrast, I see those who are unmotivated, ill-intentioned, ignorant, and have horrible communication skills to be unattractive.
Duck’s theory makes perfect sense to me, and I very much agree with his concept. Furthermore, I have utilized all four of this filters including the sociological and preinteraction cues. In terms of the sociological cue, I have eliminated a potential relation due to the fact that I could not see how we would be able to get to know one another if there were little chance of us running into each other. Basically, I eliminated the individual because it would be too much work to, well, make it work. And in terms of the preinterest cue, I am sure many of you, including, myself have elminated another only because you were not physically attracted to the other. With that said, I am sure many of you, like myself, have reconsidered the relationship after looking past superficial traits and getting to know the person. I have done so with people who I elminated based on low attraction after finding that we very much connected intellectually. The intellectual factor alone drew me back in.
Dear Wobbly Wa,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post. I definitely can identify with some of the filters mentioned used to eliminate potential romantic partners. In addition to the filters mentioned, I also think that sometimes as college students we use the level of education from a “potential partner” as a filter. Meaning, depending whether the potential partner is attending (or has attended and graduated) college (or some higher source of education) we use that information as a filter—no or little education equals unattractiveness while, on the other hand, more education equals more attractiveness. Accordingly, you mention that “the intellectual factor alone drew [you] back in” for those you had previously eliminated. Overall, great job on your post!!